Street Hoops

World’s greatest basketball game ever…

Stay tuned for a new mini-series.

Pixeljunk Monsters

Sorry for the crap video quality. Oh well. Comments make me happy. Thanks.

Bioshock

Here is my second video review. I actually edited and it is about 20 min still sadly. I am working on getting shorter stuff but as for right now I suppose this is what I have. Some new and improved features in the video (hopefully you will notice). Otherwise, enjoy!

NOTE: I said “underground” when I meant to say “underwater.” Rookie mistake I know.

Leave comments if you could. Thanks!

Psi-Ops: The Mindgate Conspiracy

SOOOOO…here we go. First video review…ever. It is kinda long and I am very sorry for making it so long but uh…shit happened and the video ended up how it ended up. Watch it at your leisure.

Hope you enjoyed it!
Leave comments if you could. Thanks!

Warhawk

Not that many people care about this game considering it is on the PS3, but I do really care since it is a very fun and entertaining game.  Fast paced and electric, the game is a wonderful combination of tactic and brute force all gathered around a community and online base.  When the essential chords of this game play in tune, there exists an entertainment value far beyond what most console game can impart.

Warhawk is a PS3 online only exclusive title.  Despite the limited fan base for it given those two points previously mentioned, the online community is strong and there are always people to play.  The game is structured similar to Battlefield 1942 in that you are one of many soldiers on a side trying to capture points on the map or take away points from the enemy.  At your disposal are about 12 different weapons that you can pick up that are scattered around the map as well as 3 main vehicles: the jeep, tank, and warhawk.  As you may have already assumed, there is heavy emphasis on the Warhawk, and for good reason.  The vehicle is a flying craft that can either go into a hover mode and lay assault to ground units, or a flight mode where it can participate in dangerous dogfights with its own array of weaponry and evasive maneuvering.  What I really love about the warhawks is that they take a fair amount of skill to get good at them, and only through playing countless matches do you master the skill of flight.  With all these vehicles and weapons at your disposal, you can take on any one of the few different game modes which are what one would expect coming from a Battlefield-esque game (i.e. Capture the flag, deathmatch, team deathmatch, zones, etc.).  Most servers play the zones mode where there are different points on the map and you try to capture them by standing by them for a certain period of time.  You can only capture points that are adjacent to points you already own, so the game comes down to which team can react fast enough and bring out the full frontal assault to get that heavily contested point.

The game breaks down into a very faced paced 3rd person shooter, and depending on how quickly you can react to your situation determines how good of a teammate you are.  As an incentive to be all you can be is the medal system (again similar to battlefield).  At the end of every battle you are donned medals according to how well you performed in the field.  There are plenty of achievements you try to unlock in the game by just playing a lot, and it gives a great replay value to the game.  As you get better, however, so do your opponents since everyone has a rank associated with how well they can play and players and games are matched with those ranks.  It leads to generally balanced games and therefore awesome combat.  The games can get up to 32 people and, even though the maps are huge, you can definitely tell when there are lots of people playing simple because bombardments and attacks are endless and relentless.  The game also supports blutooth headsets (and in one packaging of the game a headset comes with the game), and this is essential in an online game.  With the headset you can coordinate your teammates and truly work as one unit toward the same goal: victory.  One qualm I do have with the game’s structure however is the fact that there are so few maps.  I believe there are only 4 different maps that you can play on, and this seems so small considering the epic size of the battles.  There are 3 maps that you can purchase, but at $15 for the pack of 3 it seems a little expensive even though each map adds tons of new content to the game (e.g. jetpacks, dropships, etc…).  It would have been great to have more variety than 4 maps I suppose is the point I am trying to make.

The controls are alright, but you can always change them to your liking which is a nice feature.  For instance, the game allows you to invert the controls based on if you are running, driving, flying, or hovering (a nice thing to have since I only wanted my flying to be inverted).  Most of the controls are basic and intuitive, however it does take some time to get all of them down since there are so many different movement and aiming modes.  In particular, flying the warhawks takes a lot of time to get a hang of considering you can boost and perform evasive maneuvers.  Sometimes you need to switch weapons while boosting and doing barrel rolls which is extremely difficult since those three moves are on different parts of the controller so you have to sort of contort your hand in such a fashion to hit all three.  The audio is very regal as one would expect and menus are paired with very staccato snare drum lines and booming timpani.  In game however, there is no music, only war.  Which is fine by me since the sound of bullets and explosions sure does fit the bill of a war based game.

If there is any real difficulty I have in enjoying this game, it would be the fact that it seems unbalanced in parts.  Warhawks are easily shot down by anti-air guns, but tanks are extremely resilient.  In such a fast paced game vehicles spawn in mere seconds and so the game normally ends up being vehicle wars simply because foot units cannot harm much beyond other foot units.  Not that this is necessarily a problem because there are some maps that do not feature tanks, and therefore the games are much more varied in style.  Also, there are plenty of different game types and map variations that make this game very worth while.  Even with slight balancing issues, this game is tons of fun and is an interesting take on the Battlefield 1942 recipe.  So, if you own a PS3 and need another quick hit of gaming goodness into your veins, pick up Warhawk for $30 and a headset and you are a GO!

Major Infractions(-10)

Infractions(-5)

- Only 4 maps to play on

- Balancing Issues

- Sticky controls and high learning curve

Minor Infractions(-1)

- Expensive DLC

- Only max of 32 players in a 64 player age

Final Score: 83 (out of 100)

Sonic Rush

Sonic Rush for the Nintendo DS is an interesting departure from typical 2-d platforming, but it comes at a cost.  The game is borderline unruly at times and the rewards generally do not satiate one’s lust for more.  Is it really worth the aggravation to simply convince yourself that this is in fact a good game?

Sonic Rush is yet another sonic game, and thus with the dawning of the new era of sonic games since dreamcast, revolves around every lame ass character that you don’t  want to hear about.  Included in this half-cocked story are characters such as Blaze and Amy, the prior being playable in fact.  The story deals with some sort of time rift thing, or dimensional warp…something that should not have anything to do with a sonic game.  Eggman is the main enemy, not Dr. Robotnic, and this is not necessarily a problem other than my knowledge of the difference between the two is minimal and since they look very similar its aggravating that their names seem to change like the seasons.  The story, although confusingly fragmented, is very linear.  Eggman is dick who is trying to take over the world and you have to stop him…again…i guess.  There is an overhead map where you select the world that you wish to go to however like I said, it is linear.  You can only play a new world if you unlocked it by playing the previous world.  Also included on the map are spots which you go to to talk to characters and progress the story.  After you visit them, the spot still remains on the map for you to visit again, however it serves no purpose than that character yelling or asking you if you need something.  It would have been nice if those spots did something more than just give me little conversation snippets…they are useless and it bothers me that they flood the map.  Beyond those spots there are the worlds, in which I believe there are 8 of them.  Each world has two levels and a boss…do the math…it may seem like a short ways to go however the game’s difficulty keeps you in line.

This game is exceedingly difficult for one main reason: running fast gets you killed.  This really angered me because sonic has always been about speed and that is his calling card of sorts and yet in this game when you run fast you generally die in a pit or some randomly placed spike trap.  The levels themselves are similar to old sonic games in their “choose your path” kind of gameplay where at almost every juncture there are at least two paths to go.   This game makes that formula interesting, however, due to the split screens.  The two paths are broken down into the high ground and the low ground…each with their own screen.  Where as in the old games where you never know which path is the better one, in Rush you always want to take the high path because it gives you insurance that you wont always die from pits.  The pits in this game are your main enemy and the placement, size, and frequency of them is generally unreasonable.  For most pits you need to jump at a certain time or reach a certain distance in order to get past it, and when you are running at high speeds there is no way for you to determine how to get past a pit.  So the game essentially breaks down to memorizing your path well enough for you to make it past these deathtraps.   Another thing that is annoying is the fact that there is no indication that a pit will kill you.  In old sonic games usually pits just fell to a lower portion of the level.  In rush most of them kill you however you never know if there is in fact a path below without testing it and most likely dying.   The enemies aren’t chumps either.  They are vicious and at certain points the AI acts as if this is an old Ninja Gaiden game where they try to sabotage your jumps over those deathly pits.  The levels are also extremely long and almost seem to repeat themselves.  The levels enjoy throwing very similar traps at you to see how well you can get past them if you know what to do.  Although perhaps you may feel as though you “mastered” the skill to getting past a certain trap, you will probably just feel tired of having to do the same thing over and over.  Surprisingly however, the boss stages are usually retardedly easy and there is some obvious exploit that you use to kill the boss.  The boss moves are typically random however, and the later bosses almost all have moves which are virtually unavoidable and so if the boss keeps spamming crap you can get very pissed.

Beyond the kick-in-the-ass gameplay, the controls are decent although there is this trick system which gives you boost power which…boosts you when you use it.  The trick system does not make much sense to me and I found that focusing on doing midair tricks gets you killed since you are trying to pull off some sort of button combination and not focusing on the screen.  One of the most used tricks is this slide move when you grind on rails.  Unfortunately the same button to boost is the button used to do the grind trick and so when you hit a rail you think to mash the trick button but then after the rail ends you accidentally boost into a pit.  I suppose its trying to be greedy and get tons of boost off a rail, but then again I think the buttons should have been mapped better.  Despite my many qualms with this game, the audio is 110% awesome.  Most tracks are 10 second clips that repeat, but they are so catchy that I really didn’t care.  By the halfway point my only incentive to get to later levels was to be able to hear the next level’s cool music.  The voice work is also damn good for  a handheld game and I admire that they actually tried to give even more character to already colorful characters.

Sonic Rush, at its core, is a decent platforming game.  To say that it is a Sonic game is really a stretch because most everything that a person could love from the series is missing here.  In its place is a pseudo 3-d confusingly difficult and repetitive blue bombing massacre a la dimensional warps and surprisingly similar arch-nemesis kind of game.

Major Infactions (-10)

- Frustratingly difficult for the wrong reasons

Infractions(-5)

- Level design is satanic

- Speed is punished in a series where speed is normally encouraged

- Trick system seems tacked on and generally only leads to more deaths

Minor Infractions(-1)

- Blaze isn’t very different from Sonic

- Long and repetitive levels

- Trial and error gameplay with limited lives is a terrible idea

- Lame and confusing story and therein useless overhead map points

Final Score: 71 (Out of 100)

Kingdom Hearts RE: Chain of Memories

One might be thinking: isn’t this a very old game released on the GBA that no one played?  Well yes, it is an old game however the one I am going to review is the newly released PS2 version (even though I own both because I am a complete sucker).  Despite what many may already figure from the title, this is not exactly “just another Kingdom Hearts game,” largely  due to the interesting card based combat system.  Already most people would be turned off to the game for one if not both reasons: it is a Kingdom Hearts game, and it is a card game.  Coming into this game I did not care and in fact enjoyed the game more because of the former reason.  Cutting down to brass tax however, this game certainly isn’t without its flaws but it can be entertaining if you want it to be.

Kingdom Hearts RE: Chain of Memories is a card battling game wherein you, the player, control Sora (the keyblade master, duh) and through the cards you create your destiny.  The story revolves around Sora and company (Goofy and Donald) as they stumble upon Castle Oblivion in the middle of nowhere while questing to level 80.  They enter (like the idiots they are) and shit hits the fan.  A hooded man (from the Organization XII in case you didn’t know) tells them some China riddle speak like “to lose is to gain” and then throws a card at Sora with ferocity.  Being the main character (indicated by his spiky hair) Sora catches the card in such a fashion that he upstages the superb fastball the hooded man launched toward him.  Cursing under his breath, the hooded man disappears with smoke and mirrors.  After hours of searching the room Sora finally decides to see if the only door in the room (the one they entered disappear obviously) will open.  As he gets close to the door the card he was given has a chemical reaction shooting lazers, bullets, bullet-lazers, and strobe lights all around the room.  Unfazed by such witchcraft and tricksies, Sora walks into the white abyss beyond the door post-explosion.

Seriously though, the story takes place in between the first and second Kingdom Hearts games and it sorta answers all the questions one may have when playing Kingdom Hearts II.  I loved the PS2’s version of the story however because cutscenes with voice acting was added to the port.  Even though the lip sync could have used some more work (i think they just left the sync to the japanese voices and dubbed the english over them), the added audio and visual aid in the PS2 version adds a lot more worth to the package.  The story really is about Sora’s trek through Castle Oblivion and how at every new floor he reaches, he encounters another world according to his memories.  Also at every floor is some for of amnesia because as Sora goes higher he loses a little more of his memory (which does not really make all too much sense since his memories are making the worlds, so if he is losing his memory how could he be creating the worlds with such accuracy).  Anyways, you may have already figured out that since the worlds are based on memories, the worlds are the same as the first game.  Now saying that they are exactly the same is wrong because the game is structured completely differently than the first or second game.  Each world is broken up into a certain arrangement and number of rooms.  To get into those rooms you need to go through doors, and in order to unlock the doors you need to use a “map card” which you can pick up after defeating enemies.  Each map card has a specific quality to it which details what kind of a room it will synthesize.  So, technically, you make your own fate.  You could play through the game only walking through save points, but then again you wont have any experience or good cards and will get your ass handed to you in boss battles.  The fighting system is different as well.  There are enemies walking around every room (excluding a few) and by running into them you initiate a battle.  Within a battle the fights play out similar to that of the other Kingdom Hearts games however Sora’s actions are controlled by a deck of cards created from outside the battle.  To attack, use magic, heal, summon, do whatever you need to use a card for it.  Each card is activated by pressing x and after a card is used the next one in the deck is ready to be used in the order assigned while building the deck.  Each card also has a number associated with it and those numbers are used when an enemy uses a card as well.  When both cards are played the game turns to the classic game of war where the higher card wins and they attack is launched.  In the case of a tie, both cards are nullified and neither attack is initiated.  Where the tactics part comes in however is that you can play defensively and wait for the enemy to attack and then counter their card.  When someone is countered, they are open to an attack and are not allowed to use another card for a second or two.  But, it is a risk because if the enemy has a high card, you need to throw a high card back at him otherwise you are defenseless to their attack.  Once you run out of cards you have to hold the x button down to reshuffle your deck and the cards are all usable again in the same order.  You might think that a good tactic would be to have really high cards at the top of the deck and then keep reshuffling however reshuffling takes time and you must stay stationary in order to reshuffle.  Also, after each reshuffle, the subsequent reshuffle takes longer and therefore the better tactic would be to just dispose of your enemy with the fewest reshuffles as possible.

Also to consider are the “sleights,” which are combos that Sora can do after linking three cards together.  You press triangle to store the selected card in a bank which can store up to three cards.  The values of the cards are added together to create a total value of the combo (used for priority described above) and the number also can correspond to a special move or the specific combination of cards may lead to a cool move as well.  Sleights are very useful and powerful however when you use a sleight, the leading card is discarded from the deck and cannot be reshuffled back in.  So, although very potent, sleights can be dangerous if you use them too much.  After you destroy an enemy they drop experience crystals which after collecting so many you level up.  In the level up screen you can choose to increase Sora’s health, increase the card point limit, or at certain points learn a new sleight.  Card points are the points associated with using a card.  Sora can only have as many cards up to the card point limit in order to avoid having tons of higher numbered cards or special cards.  For boss battles, it seems as though the bosses never run out of amazing cards even though they use sleights like no ones business.  Luckily, even though the boss battles are difficult there are mickey cards which you can smack out of them if you perform some action correctly upon the boss (e.g. counter them 3 times in a row).  These mickey cards always help you in a large way for every battle (sometimes they even just paralyze the boss so that you can smack the crap out of them without the fear of being countered or hit).  After each world you are rewarded with a cutscene which mostly goes into detail about the other characters in the castle and their plot to trap the keyblade master.  However, then you just enter the next world (to your choosing of 4 normally) and you wash, rinse, and repeat the process from other worlds.  Although the worlds can be mundane, the boss battles are plentiful and challenging.

The graphics and sound are you know…whatever.  Nothing too spectacular but then again it is a port from a GBA game…kinda.  The game looks exactly like KH I and II so there is nothing that stands out as great but then again there is nothing that really stands out as poor either.  The sound is practically identical to the first game and that’s not necessarily a bad thing (since it was pretty good to begin with) but its lame that everything was recyclyed except for a few excerpts here and there.  The voice work is very nice and it seems as though the whole original staff was on board yet again but the sync is a little off.  Easy enough to ignore, but sometimes it is upsetting that the mouths couldn’t be timed just a tad tighter.  Other than that, the game has a good replay value since there are tons of cards to collect and to add to the replayability of the game there is even another mode called Reverse/Rebirth.  You unlock this mode after you beat the game and Reverse/Rebirth tells the caslte oblivion story from the perspective of Riku (ya, you know, that guy who like went into the darkness and stuff).  I do not want to spoil anything but I must say I found it funny that Riku made it to the basement and Sora started on the first floor and they have no idea the other one is in the very same castle but just a few floors above or below.  Riku’s story has its own cutscenes and even game play elements which really adds some flare to the game.  Although Reverse/Rebirth is a lot shorter and easier in a sense, it is well worth playing through and it is still fun regardless.

So, after blabbing on forever about such a technically small game I suppose I should bring this to a close.  KHRECOM is a game where you have to make the most out of it.  Since you create the rooms you can create a fun and varied environment, or you can grind.  You can pay attention to assembling a good deck, or you could just throw in high cards and hope for the best.  Obviously if you are not a Kingdom Hearts fan then you should not play this game because it is heavily story based and the gameplay would fall incredibly flat if you dislike the characters or previous games.  There are plenty of reasons to not play this game and really only one reason to play this game: you have played the other KH games and want more.  This game will be forgotten about swiftly which saddens me because I enjoyed the journey, but it is really more of a niche game appealing to an obese KH niche market…so I guess they really hit the nail on the head with this one.

Major Infractions (-10)

- Recycled content galore

- Card system can be frustrating and one sided

Infractions (-5)

- Story does not cover as much as it should

- Battling system is very repetitive

Minor Infractions (-1)

- Lip sync needs work

Final Score: 69 (Out of 100)

Burnout Paradise

“Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty” is the first line of familiar lyrics you will hear when you boot up Burnout Paradise and it is the perfect introduction to what could possibly be one of the only the perfect racing games.  Although there are no girls in Paradise City you can only be led to assume that the sheer elegance of the city is the woman that Guns and Roses is referring to, but it is not just the beauty of this game which makes it a beast of a game.  From just about every angle you can attempt to critique the game on there is a counterpoint which makes a “flaw” seem like an intentional quip purposely programmed into the game.  I found myself loving this game, but it could be that I have an extreme bias because I am an avid fan of the Burnout series.  However, whether you are new to the series or a returning burner, I believe that Paradise City could (and should) become your home away from home; it should be your paradise.

Burnout Paradise is a racing simulation game on the 360 and PS3 (as well as the PC soon) and what sets it apart from other racing based games is that Paradise City is a free roam environment where you have to drive to a challenge in order to start it.  Although this may seem as a hindrance more than a feature, there is plenty to do in the city without going about any of the races or other events.  There is a multitude of events that you can initiate by stopping at any of the stoplights in the city (approx. 64 i think in total).  Besides racing events, there are “stunt runs” where you try to find jumps to spin and barrel roll off of at insane speeds in a chain of stunts to rack up points, “road rage” where you try to force a certain number of fellow racers to crash, “marked man” where there are 4 hitman cars trying to make you crash as you attempt to get from point A to point B without crashing too many times, and “burnout routes” where you try to beat a specified time to reach a certain point on the map in a solo race in order to unlock a better version of the car you are currently driving.  Even beyond those main events there are tons of other activities to do like finding special gates which show you shortcuts and crash through them, finding “super jumps,” garages, and crashing into billboards.  Although due to the brevity of this review I cannot dive into all of these gameplay elements let me just say that there is never a shortage of things to do in Paradise City and for the most part the city is never boring.

Now, I keep throwing around this “Paradise City” phrase like a cheap whore (which it most certainly is not), and it really does not do the game justice.  To call the map of the game a “city” is only half the picture.  Beside the expansive city (broken up into three burroughs) there is an entire mountain which lies alongside the city to explore.  What may seem commonplace in the city is totally foreign to the mountain town and vice versa as you would expect.  The city and mountain will take hours alone just to explore, but what is the point of exploration if you can’t do it in style.  Burnout Paradise has a gigantic lineup of cars totaling over 70 different cars into three categories: stunt, speed, and aggression.  What defines the classes is their ability to gain “boost.”  For stun cars you need to run off different jumps and make midair spins to gain boost.  For the speed cars you can only use boost when your meter is full however if you use an entire boost meter in one use you get a “Burnout” which almost entirely replenishes your meter and depending on how dangerous you drive a burnout can fill the meter and you can chain “burnouts” to infinity.  The aggression class of cars gains boost by, well, being aggressive and causing havoc with either other racers or the traffic.  For me, the stunt cars are the easiest to drive since they are all around cars that can gain boost by doing practically nothing, speed cars are the hardest to use since they are really weak cars which overall do not go significantly faster than stunt cars and are more dangerous to drive, and aggression cars are just fun to drive because they are seemingly impossible to crash.  On the topic of crashing, it would be yet another crime to call this game only a racing simulator as it is the physics and crashing system which really takes the cake when it comes to gameplay.  Although the game does have the basis of a normal racer, what sets it apart is the fact that it is your goal to reach the finish line by any means necessary.  If that means that you need to “take out” your competition so be it.  You can ram, smash, grind up against any opponent and if you do in fact cause them to wipeout you are rewarded with a slomo view of their momentous crash.  However, the same goes for you as the AI will be willing to risk their car in order to take out yours and if you are on the receiving end of the crash you get the slomo view of your car running off a cliff or smashing into the side of a skyscraper all while the other cars whiz by your lonely remains.  Cars are placed back onto the road but due to the crash sequence their penalty is the fact that they were taken out of the race for a few seconds (which could be vital).  Causing crashes will give you boost in any car but obviously the aggression class gains the most from the destruction and unwell being of other cars.  As to be expected of the burnout series, however, is the depth and detail of the crash sequences.  In the slowmo you get the real feeling and sounds of a car crashing and contorting around whatever it hits.  For example, if you run headon into a wall, the car will slowdown right before you hit, impact, the hood will slowly crush inward and eventually the shockwave will blast the windows out in a display of amazing force and ferocity.  Just about every facet of this game overflows with enjoyment and entertainment for players and viewers alike.

The graphics of the game are wildly detailed and the games implementation of visual speed is incomparable to any other series on the market.  Cars have damage specific points of detail depending on how and where a car hit a guardrail or clipped oncoming traffic to give the illusion of a car in shambles.  I did not test whether a pristine car ran better than a smashed up one, but it certainly seems as though it would be.  Your confidence in the set of wheels readily depends on how much damage you see in your car, and it is up to you to determine just how much more carnage your car can withstand.  Beyond the usual fare of shiny environments and cars, there are newly added weather effects (only seems to be overcast and foggy as of right now), and a “real time” time setting which allows the game to play in the time that you are in using the consoles set time.  It is an interesting and fun feature, but most of the time you will find that driving at night can be much more difficult than day and so sometimes it is best to just leave the game at the set “midday” time if you want to actually take on any of the numerous events.  So, the only thing left would be sound and I must say the Burnout team certainly did not disappoint yet again.  I was reading in some reviews that the soundtrack to the game was a large letdown and that you would inevitably turn it off because it was so bad, so my expectations were low.  What I discovered however is that the soundtrack is awesome; ranging from LCD Soundsystem to Bach, the soundtrack is a long list of (maybe not well known) catchy tunes that you enjoy hearing over and over again as the playtime hours fly away.  There are also a fair amount of “classic” Burnout songs that the Burnout team wrote and composed for their previous games in the soundtrack and while it is a little nostalgic, it is out of place and bland.  But, thankfully, you can edit the soundtrack list so that the songs you want to hear (or don’t want to hear) will or will not be played to your liking.  Also, if you really just despise the soundtrack all together, then you can turn on any of the tunes on your hard drive as an option in game to replace the in game soundtrack.  All the bases are covered whether you like the music or find it repulsive…if your opinion is the ladder then make your own soundtrack if you think you can do better.

Finally, there is multiplayer.  Although currently there is no local multiplayer options (they are on their way as downloadable content), there are plenty of online options to suit your fancy.  What I found to be the best part of the online experience is that it is seamless.  By pressing the D-Pad to the right only 3 times you can enter an online game where upon entering you may just think that nothing has happened becuase there was observable loading or teleportation.  The way the game sets up online matches is that you are simply placed into the host’s Paradise City in the exact location from where you started the online game request.  It is a cool feature that I think most games should include (*cough* GTA *cough*).  While in an online game you can putz around, challenge any other racers to an event type of your choosing, or you can do cooperative missions where two or more cars try to obtain some goal by working together.  Most people enjoy just discovering the nooks and crannies of the city together while smashing into as many things as possible, and although this may sound dull it is extremely fun to have cat and mouse chases around the map or try to create the most horrendous crash in the history of Paradise City.  Whatever you fancy, the online portion of the game should keep you busy well beyond the natural bounds of any console game.

I would love to go on and on about how amazingly amazing this amazing game really is, but I simply can’t (even I am getting bored writing all this happy cheerful crap…if you actually got this far reading it then I commend you).  With plenty of free downloadable content and huge additional content soon to come for a small price (how about an entire new portion of Paradise City), this game more than plays for its pay.  At the low pricetag of $30 (maybe not even), this game is something that cannot be missed, at any price, period.  The Devil may have gone down to Georgia but you damn well better be going to Paradise City.

Major Infractions ( -10)

Infractions (-5)

- AI always drives cars at your level (even super)

- Speed class cars are hard to use and unrewarding

Minor Infractions (-1)

- Night time driving is hard and somewhat impractical

- Finding people online to do co-op can be difficult

- Need to be more secret areas

Final Score: 87 (Out of 100)

Team Fortress 2

Team Fortress 2 is an amazing piece of gaming that should not be missed by anyone…barring that “anyone” is defined as a person who is familiar with the first person shooter genre.  TF2 is one of very few games that is challenging, trendsetting, and wildly amusing on all levels of play and observation.  Although it is only a part of the illustrious Orange Box, Team Fortress 2 is well worth its weight in heavy weapons bullets and scout bats.

Once again I must start by stating that I played TF2 as a part of the Orange Box for the PS3, which standalone would receive a much lower score since the port is somewhat crap as compared to the authentic game on the PC…but I won’t go into those issues and will hopefully stay focused on the game itself.  So, TF2…what is it all about?  The game is (as the title states) the second game of the team fortress series, and the premise is that there are two teams of players who compete for some goal specific to the current map.  Where the depth and “team” aspect comes in is with the class system.  Included on each team are 9 insanely different classes including: Scout, Soldier, Pyro, Demoman, Heavy, Engineer, Medic, Sniper, and Spy.  The weapons each class are what one would expect (e.g. heavy has a heavy machine gun, pyro has a flamethrower and so forth), but each class serves a different purpose and holds a unique style to them which can make them ideal for certain situations.  A good example would be that the engineer can make stationary turrets to defend a base, but the counter would be a spy who can disguise as an enemy so the turret wont shoot at him and then the spy can destroy the turret.  Any other class (depending on the dilemma) would not be capable of taking out the turret.  What this amounts to is a truly team based game (go figure) since everyone must assess the current state of the game and pick classes that will fit in with the existing players and what is needed.Even though there is a strange lack of communication on the PS3 version (except for microphone support which is rarely used), the team part of TF2 is intact and is extremely rewarding when you team works as one unit.  More often than not, however, the teams run amok and little is accomplished.  For me, this only made my task of winning the round only a little harder, and I would feel that much more accomplished if I could win single handedly.  On the PC version however there is chat support as well as some basic commands creating a much friendlier team environment.  As I said before, the task for the game depends on the map being played.  For the PS3 there are two types of maps (technically): Capture the Intelligence (Flag), or Attack and Defend.  Capture the Intelligence is what you would expect, and Attack and Defend maps are maps where there are certain points where teams must stand by for a few seconds and capture them therefore making the point their color.  Once a team captures all the points, then they win the map.  However, points must be captured in order (by distance), so that teams must work together to capture single points instead of utter chaos over three at one time.  A variation of the Attack Defend  is maps where one team is on the attack side and tries to capture points while the other tries to defend until the time runs out…perhaps the variation is the other one…maybe not…well fuck it, they are similar but still entertaining in their own right.

One of the major reasons as to why this game is so great is due to its style.  Many games out on the market are very straight forward games which barely enthrall a player to play more.  For TF2, there is a definitive flair which keeps the player entertained mainly because it is a new kind of gaming aspect.  The art style is cartoonish with the lack of straight lines and almost blinding color spread.  The characters are highly exaggerated stereotypes (including racial) and are fitting to what they are representing.  The doctor is a crazy German suited with a long white lab coat, while the sniper is a slanted hat and sunglasses kind of Aussie.  By making the characters this crazy adds spice to a game which could have been stock all around (i.e. Team Fortress classic).  Also to add some character depth, each class has a hilarious melee weapon such as the fists for the heavy (who can punch out all your blood btw) and the butterfly knife for the spy (who can get an instant kill if he stabs a person in the back).  Needless to say, if all else fails the exaggerated melee weapons are a silly way to finish off a person.  One thing that was left to the PS3 from the PC version however are the taunts.  Each class has a taunt matched up with the weapon they are currently holding and it is the true way to celebrate a victory as you make corny jokes as the scout, or make loud drunkard noises as the demoman or even salute with a loser fingers as the soldier.  But wait, there’s more!  As if that was not enough to bring virtual characters to life, valve created some video interviews with the classes of TF2 just so that you can get a true understanding of who each person really is.  To give you an idea of just how slapstick this game is I present…Heavy Weapons:

What about the gameplay you ask?  Well lets just say that the game borderlines on perfect.  I can say this because after the numerous hours of playing I  know that every class is as balanced as the next.  There is no unfair combination or impossible situation in this game, and for a game where just about anything goes one would think that making 9 balanced classes would be impossible.  Once you get into the game however you realize that any class can kill every other class with ease if you know what you are doing.  What makes this game fun (for me at least) is the fact that I, the player, must view the current situation and adjust my playing style or class so that I can help my team to further reach the goal and win the scenario.  This game is not a one man show and it is blatantly obvious, but that does not mean that you singlehandedly cannot make more of a difference than the guy who is AFK.  It is a strange wholehearted feeling when you win a round or a match simply because you know deep inside that your team bested the other team.  A sense of community and teamwork is sadly lacking in most every game today.  Take for example another Steam game: Counter-Strike.  Although this game is as much fun as a barrel of monkeys, there really is no necessary reward for acting like a team.  Instead you go through the same motions to get the headshots in an attempt to get the best score on the server.  Which brings me to another point: TF2 rarely gets boring because gameplay almost never repeats itself.  Again I will refer to CS and say that in that game you pretty much follow some predetermined path in your head.  After a while you learn to do the same things over and over because they work that well.  In TF2 you can’t do that because what worked last round may not this round due to the opposing players locations and classes.  A spy may rape a group of engineers, but if those engineers decided to be pyros next game that spy stands no chance.  You may think that being a certain class comes with a “playbook” that you resort to depending on the situation, but that is the opposite of what really happens.  I may think that as the demoman I should rig my team’s intelligence with some bombs so that if anyone makes a move toward it they will be blow to pieces, but what if I just wanted to run and gun and set traps elsewhere?  By all means go ahead and do it because it will just be helping the team in another way and you will still be successful.

To bring this review to a close, I will leave you with this: Team Fortress 2 is an instant classic and I would find it very hard to not have fun while playing it.  Isn’t that what video games are all about anyways…fun?  Developers lose sight of the main goal at hand in their attempts to create some masterpiece which is only determined by sales.  I am thoroughly disgusted, and if I could I would totally machete their ass and set up a turret so they couldn’t do it again.

Major Infractions (-10)

Infractions (-5)

Randomized critical hits make game impossible to ascertain skill levels

Maps recycle textures and buildings far too much

Minor Infractions (-1)

Minor bugs and glitches

Final Score: 89 (out of 100)

Portal

The first of the disgustingly numerous games I received for my birthday that I completed in a timely fashion is Portal.  This is the game that, unfortunately, started a huge wave of fanatics who claim that they bleed Valve games and breath companion cubes…if there is one thing I hate it is people who can’t take things in perspective; those who jump on the bandwagon of “cool” just so they can feel that they fit in with a society that is less in shambles than their own.  *puts soapbox away*.  With that said, Portal is a bright shade of awesome.

Created from the Half-Life 2 engine and Havok physics, Portal is a uniquely mind-bending experience.  I played it on the PS3’s Orange Box which is apparently the worst version of the game, but hey I work with what I have.  The basic premise for Portal is that you are a trainee at a company called Aperture Science, and in order to complete your training you must complete an obstacle course with the only help from your portal gun.  The portal gun (as you may have figured out for yourself) creates portals (blue and orange).  You can only have one blue and one orange out and they are linked together such that when you enter one, you pop out of the other.  Along your quest through 19 different levels in the obstacle course you encounter various traps, enemies, and yes…even some companions.  What makes Portal so interesting and fun is the general quirkiness of the whole experience.  You are being led around this course by an unnamed voice who says some rather hilarious (and cynical) jokes about each level and even the enemy sentries when destroyed give out a shrill “I don’t blame you” along with some other just as funny lines.  Even though this game is about creating portals from point A to point B, they creators implemented enough to keep you entertained the whole way through; Even the credits are amusing as they are accompanied by the song “Still Alive” which is all about your quest through the gauntlet.

It is hard to find any real issues with this game beyond the fact that the game is just way too short.  I understand that Portal is just a bonus with the Orange Box, but it still does not make much sense that the game can be completed in less than 4 hours (if you are decent at thinking with portals). One thing that sorta bugged me too was the fact that you cannot make a portal by shooting the gun through a previously created portal.  Now I know this is not a big problem (mainly because it would make the game easier in some respects) but I think that if the developers really wanted to give an intense challenge to the players that they would allow you to shoot portals through portals.  Imagine going through an entire level just constantly shooting portals through portals…mentally you would have to have a plan for the whole level before you start and finalize a route through trial and error…that’s some critical thinking.  Which brings me to another point, the game is not very hard.  For 19 levels you think the difficulty would kick in around say level 5, but no.  The 19th level is a joke, and 18 is not very difficult either.  All in all, the reason why this game is so short is not because there are only 19 levels, but because you can beat every level with little thought in say 10 minutes at most.  I can only hope that Portal 2 (oh ya, its coming alright) adds a little more spice to the casserole of difficulty.

The graphics and sound are basic.  Period.  The meat of this game is the actual gameplay, and nothing else.  There is no real reason to get hung up at any point to stop and smell the roses because there is nothing there…just straight puzzles.  Which is good and bad…it only adds to the reason why this game is so small.  Beyond that, the only thing to comment on I guess is just the Havok physics engine which is a cheap two dollar whore at this point.  In this game however, the engine is utilized very well considering some puzzles force you to gain momentum (through falling into portals) and flinging yourself to safety a distance away.  Fun and interesting the first time, typical and predictable henceforth.

There is honestly nothing more to say about Portal.  It was fun while it lasted but like your most favorite ice cream sundae, it does not last very long.

Major Infractions (-10)

Too short

Infractions(-5)

Not very difficult

Minor Infractions(-1)

Basic textures and sounds

No portal through portal portaling

Final Score: 83 (Out of 100)